Re: one week left. This might sound bad and entitled, but here goes. I was mostly fine with Alternity ending in September when that was going to be the battle to end everything. Sad, but OK. Going out with the climax. But now I feel really sad to know that there won't be more aftermath stuff. Yes, we may have an idea of where people are, but I love reading the ongoing life tribulations of these folk. I want to read about their lives and careers and children and diplomatic struggles and Linus' studies at Oxford and maybe Seamus' reconciliation with his father and...
So not being fair to the players who have devoted a huge chunk of the last 7 years to this, I know. So again, so many thanks and much love to them. This is my cross, not theirs.
Alternity is one of 2 RPGs I read. The other is going on year 12 with no end in sight. My daily internet will be drastically different.
I'm so excited thinking about all the possibilities! I want to read about Hogwarts: The Rebuilding Years; what happens after the Welcoming Feast; who among the muggleborns of schooling age wants to go to Hogwarts. (Would Terry? I could see him wanting to stay as part of the transition, wanting to have at least some of that experience for a year. Are Ginny and Luna going back? I know Hydra's done. Would Evelyn want to stay? Does Sinistra get to stay?) I love that we've gotten a glimpse of Linus discovering Muggle poetry, and I'm being greedy hoping for one more discovery from him - perhaps as solace for the loss of his family, finding another muggle poet who understands. I want to understand Septima Vector's position more thoroughly. I'm still curious how Rigel is going to play into all of this. I'm on tenterhooks to see who survives the weekend, because there've already been so many losses, how can I let go of any more of the characters I love?
The players have done such a tremendous job for such an extended period of time, and they're ready to "graduate" and move onto the next thing; I get that. And I feel lucky that I came late to Alternity, so I can start a complete re-read from the beginning once this is all over, because I know there's still new stuff for me to discover. But as ready as I am to find out how this part of it all ends, I'm not ready for it to end, you know?
<3 to everyone who's contributed to this amazing work. So grateful that you've created this universe that's kept my interest in the Hogwartsverse alive for so many years after it was officially "complete."
Also with the Protectorate side talking about the Mer I'm wondering if this was a Mer faction that the Order had made nice with and the 'Mer arrive in the Serpentine' is, in fact, an insertion team ready for a strike.
I like this idea. "Big warm happy surprise" indeed. How much communication is there between the various Merfolk factions, how *do* Merfolk get between various bodies of water ... this could be quite an interesting weekend.
I have to say, Tosha's got me more than a little confused at the moment.
On the one hand, he had no qualms about torturing a minor in order to brainwash her. On the other, he's repulsed that she was raped. His conversation with Lucius implies that he wants to right his wrongs, or at least as many as he can, but he also seems to be perfectly willing to murder for Lana (if I'm reading their discussion right, anyway) and appears intent on killing Justin, as well. Admittedly I don't know what specific wrongs he's making amends for, but I find it hard to believe that more murder is really going to improve things, whether the victim is deserving or not.
Admittedly I'm not the best at reading Slytherins, but I usually have a better handle on his intentions than this.
I think a clue to part of it is something he said to... Siz, I think? That part of his discipline is to accept the consequences of the choices he makes, what they necessarily do to him. (Yeah, that was to Siz, because she complained about being turned into someone who could kill and he was very "Oh no you don't blame me for that I promised I'd teach you how to survive this shithole, and that's an entirely predictable consequence thereof.")
And he said that the consequences of choices he's made are that he doesn't have choices anymore, more or less. Which strikes me as the Russian fatalism in him. He's looking for some sort of closure, I'm guessing, some sense that he's spooled out the consequences properly for his choices.
He created Justin; he doesn't think that Justin should exist in his present form; therefore it's his obligation to stop Justin. Etc.
Unfortunately, he didn't have the same revelation about creating Voldemort's power structure.
Once again I am really frustrated by Sirius et all. The anxious hand-wringing, the 'oh let us do this' right here at the end- it strikes me as decidedly too little, too late. Not to mention the fact that the younger set are better trained, and they've been using that training regularly, unlike Sirius and most of the rest.
This comment makes me curious about what stupid things Gryffindors have done in this game that you could be referring to? Maybe my memory is just kaput, but nothing is immediately springing to mind. The Order is pretty heavy with Gryffindors and Slytherins (not that the Puffs and Claws don't play their roles!) and it's always seemed to me like they've helped balance their extreme qualities out quite a bit. But like I said, maybe my memory is just kaput.
Speaking as Ron's player, I've got to say that Alternity has often worked this way:
Ron: Oh! Here! Let's go do this rash, brave thing and show [irritating people/evil teachers/Malfoy] we're not letting them walk all over us! Pansy, Sally Anne: OMG, Ron, NO! You can't do that! How could you even think about proposing something so utterly mad? This is The Protectorate! They kill people who even look like they think they might someday have a rash idea! Now. Say you're sorry and you'll never do it again. Ron: ... erm. It was just a thought?
Ha. And here I read that line and thought "that could TOTALLY be the title of Sally-Anne's memoir!"
(Sally-Anne's the one who decided to draw fire in the Department of Mysteries, in a bid to protect Pansy, and came rather close to winding up dead. She's done a couple of deeply dumb things, and would cheerily blame all of them on the bad influence of her Gryffindor friends.)
I'm praying Rachel has the sense to petrify him rather than let him go himself. He can be overwhelmed with sufficient force and enough distractions, as we know from the last Inferi battle. He's not going to fall to a solo assassin.
Fuck fuck fuck. I mean, I doubted Justin was getting out of the game alive (the poem that makes up the titles for Hydra's icons was the tipoff, years ago, and then the unicorn didn't help) but when he lived through the battle I hoped....
The killer thing is that Tosha was right. I don't know if Tosha was right about Justin pillaging the books for spells, but the thing about him cloaking himself in the aura of righteousness so he wouldn't have to face up to who and what he was being, and how that was going to blow up?
That. It hid from him that he had a dangerous obsession with vindicating himself by cutting ties to Tosha - by making sure Dolohov was dead - as if that would make his hands clean again.
Rachel had the same obsession, and the same driven to irrationality need. And they both paid for it. I wonder if Rachel will grow the self-awareness to realise that's what it was....
I'm wondering whether Tosha's guilt will be enough to have him write the prayers for Justin.
I know the Order is gearing up to deal with Bellatrix at Penzance, but there's the teeniest part of me that wishes Tosha would just AK Bella in the back and walk away. (I don't think it will happen, not by a long shot. But oh it would make me happy.)
Tosha traded Justin's life for his own and failed to make good because he didn't know what Bella hit him with.
I imagine that's bothering him just a wee bit.
(Though Ernie is reminding me that I miss the Justin who would take being socked in the face and just say "Quite right" rather than Righteous Paladin Justin that he turned into after V died. Y'know? THat was a much less fucked-up Justin.)
I miss that Justin too. Though it's hardly surprising what he became, given what he had to do.
I hope it's eating him up inside. Oh! Maybe instead of AK he could hit her with Fiendfyre- death, pain, and cremation all in one! (Possibly that should not be as satisfying a thought as it is, but hey.)
http://alt-ron.dreamwidth.org/117661.html?thread=1546397#cmt1546397: "On the one hand I'm shattered about some of the losses. I don't know if I told you but I wrote to Zach Smith's parents. That was dashed unfortunate. And the thought of Harry is both devastating and infuriating, what.
But at the same time, on the other hand--my God, it's not even mildly surprising that so many of them died. Which is a well monstrous thought.
Is it because we're just fatigued? Or is it because of their influence? Desai and--and Antonin. Others. Do you think we'll ever feel properly about things?"
I think he was aware of the changes in his psyche but he was also 19, an age where it's nearly impossible to control the slide. And he was operating in extremely intense circumstances. Third, he was a character with a deep-seated sense of noblesse oblige, who would have found it anethema to pass on the distasteful job he had to do merely because he found it distasteful. That would mean making someone else do it, and that's not acceptable either. Better to recognise the abyss as he's tumbling into it. But he seemed to be able to see it, even if he's powerless to stop it.
-Justin's player (who has been waiting for this for 4 years, and crying for 2 days)
Wow, a four year arc like that is bloody intense. (I often wonder how much of characters' arcs you all plan out from when.)
(As to my personal impression? I got the feeling that he knew that he was changing, but was trying to hold it back and control it by distancing himself from the changes, and by trying to reframe them as nobility and necessary sacrifice.)
But right, he knew he was changing, but I don't think it's fair to say that he cloaked himself in righteousness in order to avoid facing what he was becoming. He faced it; he just couldn't stop the roll. And I think it's clear he didn't expect to ever be whole again, either - only that he might be able to heal it over, like a graft of new skin over scar tissue.
Fascinatingly, I was looking up something else just now and found this post, especially this thread, from back at the end of Y5 after the battle at the Department of Mysteries. The contrast is absolutely fascinating.
(Speaking as someone who delivered a ten-pound baby two weeks late a few months ago without any options for magical painkillers, I have... limited pouting sympathy available. ;) )
Bella and Sirius, obviously. Lupin, probably. I have a feeling either Colin or Terry will die. Probably Colin as the Longbottoms' have already lost Neville. Probably one of the Weasleys although not Ron. (I know it's Alternity and it can always get worse, but destroying the other young married couple is far too harsh. ) Possibly Sue and Cedric.
Might be easier to consider the ones I don't think are going to die. Ron, Sally-Anne, Draco, Hermione, (Alternity will not destroy Dramione for me, they can't.), Alice (Lupin's probable death will means she safe because nobody else could probably be the leader), and I can't carry on, too many feels.
Wondering what else is going to happen in NL that the Order won't have intel on. I just know that Blaise and Vaisey were probably in the Elysian talking about the details of what is planned in NL this weekend. The one night Draco would have got some good intel and he wasn't there.
Or maybe NL isn't important. It probably isn't.
Oh hang on! I need to go back over Siz's posts about the wards. I have a feeling that all these deaths that are going to happen near to one of the stones means the wards are going to come down. Need to find the post where there were discussing Bella's plan to kill Seamus to try to bring down the wards.
"Once we make the switch tonight, it's possible that killing Seamus would make a difference, but it's more killing anyone would make a difference, because enough death magic does weird things to wards. The Octoboros wards are based on rune and arithmantic models, not ritual magic, but - could they take out an individual stone that way? Maybe."
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 04:07 pm (UTC)Gah how is there less than a week left
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 05:00 pm (UTC)So not being fair to the players who have devoted a huge chunk of the last 7 years to this, I know. So again, so many thanks and much love to them. This is my cross, not theirs.
Alternity is one of 2 RPGs I read. The other is going on year 12 with no end in sight. My daily internet will be drastically different.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 05:43 pm (UTC)The players have done such a tremendous job for such an extended period of time, and they're ready to "graduate" and move onto the next thing; I get that. And I feel lucky that I came late to Alternity, so I can start a complete re-read from the beginning once this is all over, because I know there's still new stuff for me to discover. But as ready as I am to find out how this part of it all ends, I'm not ready for it to end, you know?
<3 to everyone who's contributed to this amazing work. So grateful that you've created this universe that's kept my interest in the Hogwartsverse alive for so many years after it was officially "complete."
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 04:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 04:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 05:28 pm (UTC)And Lana, darling, your family is trying to play both sides. Haven't you figured that out by now?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 07:26 pm (UTC)Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke. (Well, it could, but most of them are dead...)
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 11:58 pm (UTC)On the one hand, he had no qualms about torturing a minor in order to brainwash her. On the other, he's repulsed that she was raped. His conversation with Lucius implies that he wants to right his wrongs, or at least as many as he can, but he also seems to be perfectly willing to murder for Lana (if I'm reading their discussion right, anyway) and appears intent on killing Justin, as well. Admittedly I don't know what specific wrongs he's making amends for, but I find it hard to believe that more murder is really going to improve things, whether the victim is deserving or not.
Admittedly I'm not the best at reading Slytherins, but I usually have a better handle on his intentions than this.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 12:11 am (UTC)I think a clue to part of it is something he said to... Siz, I think? That part of his discipline is to accept the consequences of the choices he makes, what they necessarily do to him. (Yeah, that was to Siz, because she complained about being turned into someone who could kill and he was very "Oh no you don't blame me for that I promised I'd teach you how to survive this shithole, and that's an entirely predictable consequence thereof.")
And he said that the consequences of choices he's made are that he doesn't have choices anymore, more or less. Which strikes me as the Russian fatalism in him. He's looking for some sort of closure, I'm guessing, some sense that he's spooled out the consequences properly for his choices.
He created Justin; he doesn't think that Justin should exist in his present form; therefore it's his obligation to stop Justin. Etc.
Unfortunately, he didn't have the same revelation about creating Voldemort's power structure.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 01:28 am (UTC)And I have to go to bed.
Aaaaaaaagh! I expect I'm going to have a lot to catch up on in the morning. :)
no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 05:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 07:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 08:22 pm (UTC)tartpants @ livejournal
no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 09:13 pm (UTC)Ron: Oh! Here! Let's go do this rash, brave thing and show [irritating people/evil teachers/Malfoy] we're not letting them walk all over us!
Pansy, Sally Anne: OMG, Ron, NO! You can't do that! How could you even think about proposing something so utterly mad? This is The Protectorate! They kill people who even look like they think they might someday have a rash idea! Now. Say you're sorry and you'll never do it again.
Ron: ... erm. It was just a thought?
no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 03:40 am (UTC)(Sally-Anne's the one who decided to draw fire in the Department of Mysteries, in a bid to protect Pansy, and came rather close to winding up dead. She's done a couple of deeply dumb things, and would cheerily blame all of them on the bad influence of her Gryffindor friends.)
--Sally-Anne's player
no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 10:18 pm (UTC)Love,
The suspense is killing me here.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 10:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-28 10:55 pm (UTC)Please.
You're acting kinda crazy and desperate and it's making me twitchy.
Sincerely, from behind nineteen layers of warding, two locked doors, and a partridge in a warded pear tree,
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 12:14 am (UTC)Assuming he can avoid temptation.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 01:52 am (UTC)And I do remember what happened to Dean.
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Date: 2015-08-29 03:23 am (UTC)Edit: oh, shit, no, she's going by herself. AUGH.
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Date: 2015-08-29 04:01 am (UTC)- stormyhearted, who can't seem to log in on her phone
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Date: 2015-08-29 09:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 11:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 08:41 pm (UTC)That. It hid from him that he had a dangerous obsession with vindicating himself by cutting ties to Tosha - by making sure Dolohov was dead - as if that would make his hands clean again.
Rachel had the same obsession, and the same driven to irrationality need. And they both paid for it. I wonder if Rachel will grow the self-awareness to realise that's what it was....
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:05 pm (UTC)I know the Order is gearing up to deal with Bellatrix at Penzance, but there's the teeniest part of me that wishes Tosha would just AK Bella in the back and walk away. (I don't think it will happen, not by a long shot. But oh it would make me happy.)
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:09 pm (UTC)I imagine that's bothering him just a wee bit.
(Though Ernie is reminding me that I miss the Justin who would take being socked in the face and just say "Quite right" rather than Righteous Paladin Justin that he turned into after V died. Y'know? THat was a much less fucked-up Justin.)
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:21 pm (UTC)I hope it's eating him up inside. Oh! Maybe instead of AK he could hit her with Fiendfyre- death, pain, and cremation all in one! (Possibly that should not be as satisfying a thought as it is, but hey.)
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:58 pm (UTC)http://alt-antonin.dreamwidth.org/49106.html?thread=259282#cmt259282:
I'm aware of where I've faltered--and of where the Order have not been perfect"
http://alt-antonin.dreamwidth.org/49106.html?thread=259794#cmt259794:
"I've already admitted to stumbling on my path. You don't need to point it out. Yes, I took satisfaction in killing him--but not pleasure.... Never pleasure."
And much earlier:
http://alt-ron.dreamwidth.org/117661.html?thread=1546397#cmt1546397:
"On the one hand I'm shattered about some of the losses. I don't know if I told you but I wrote to Zach Smith's parents. That was dashed unfortunate. And the thought of Harry is both devastating and infuriating, what.
But at the same time, on the other hand--my God, it's not even mildly surprising that so many of them died. Which is a well monstrous thought.
Is it because we're just fatigued? Or is it because of their influence? Desai and--and Antonin. Others. Do you think we'll ever feel properly about things?"
I think he was aware of the changes in his psyche but he was also 19, an age where it's nearly impossible to control the slide. And he was operating in extremely intense circumstances. Third, he was a character with a deep-seated sense of noblesse oblige, who would have found it anethema to pass on the distasteful job he had to do merely because he found it distasteful. That would mean making someone else do it, and that's not acceptable either. Better to recognise the abyss as he's tumbling into it. But he seemed to be able to see it, even if he's powerless to stop it.
-Justin's player
(who has been waiting for this for 4 years, and crying for 2 days)
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 10:07 pm (UTC)(As to my personal impression? I got the feeling that he knew that he was changing, but was trying to hold it back and control it by distancing himself from the changes, and by trying to reframe them as nobility and necessary sacrifice.)
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 10:32 pm (UTC)But right, he knew he was changing, but I don't think it's fair to say that he cloaked himself in righteousness in order to avoid facing what he was becoming. He faced it; he just couldn't stop the roll. And I think it's clear he didn't expect to ever be whole again, either - only that he might be able to heal it over, like a graft of new skin over scar tissue.
Unfortunately, he won't have that chance. :(
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-08-31 07:58 am (UTC)Fascinatingly, I was looking up something else just now and found this post, especially this thread, from back at the end of Y5 after the battle at the Department of Mysteries. The contrast is absolutely fascinating.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-31 06:24 pm (UTC)Yeah, that contrast is fascinating, and also very sad. Oh Justin.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:05 pm (UTC)Hydra is breaking my heart even more.
Lana is providing some much needed comic relief.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:14 pm (UTC)(Speaking as someone who delivered a ten-pound baby two weeks late a few months ago without any options for magical painkillers, I have... limited pouting sympathy available. ;) )
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 11:46 pm (UTC)Suck it up, cupcake. Some of us have had to have C-sections after our children got STUCK. Some of us have done vaginal delivery MORE THAN ONCE.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:35 pm (UTC)Bella and Sirius, obviously. Lupin, probably. I have a feeling either Colin or Terry will die. Probably Colin as the Longbottoms' have already lost Neville. Probably one of the Weasleys although not Ron. (I know it's Alternity and it can always get worse, but destroying the other young married couple is far too harsh. ) Possibly Sue and Cedric.
Might be easier to consider the ones I don't think are going to die.
Ron, Sally-Anne, Draco, Hermione, (Alternity will not destroy Dramione for me, they can't.), Alice (Lupin's probable death will means she safe because nobody else could probably be the leader), and I can't carry on, too many feels.
Wondering what else is going to happen in NL that the Order won't have intel on. I just know that Blaise and Vaisey were probably in the Elysian talking about the details of what is planned in NL this weekend. The one night Draco would have got some good intel and he wasn't there.
Or maybe NL isn't important. It probably isn't.
Oh hang on! I need to go back over Siz's posts about the wards. I have a feeling that all these deaths that are going to happen near to one of the stones means the wards are going to come down. Need to find the post where there were discussing Bella's plan to kill Seamus to try to bring down the wards.
no subject
Date: 2015-08-29 09:41 pm (UTC)"Once we make the switch tonight, it's possible that killing Seamus would make a difference, but it's more killing anyone would make a difference, because enough death magic does weird things to wards. The Octoboros wards are based on rune and arithmantic models, not ritual magic, but - could they take out an individual stone that way? Maybe."
https://alt-rachel.dreamwidth.org/37413.html?thread=356901
Oh bugger.